Being a hoarder

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After hours of being nagged, I reluctantly agreed to clean my portion of the cupboard yesterday. By 'cleaning' of course my annoying sister meant throwing out whatever I didn't want to keep. I'm pretty sure I said "how about I throw you out in the trash" , yes my fellow readers this is a post from beyond the grave and you better read it through if you don't want me to curse you for eternity.

This cupboard was just your regular decades old dusty wooden cupboard, now I used this cupboard for my text books, specifically the ones I needed for academic purposes... or at least I thought that.

The last time I needed to use my text books was when I back in 11th grade, because seriously none of us really did make use of our text books in 12th grade now did we? It was all online, notes and papers, everything.

So if we try to do the math here that I'm terrible at (you will get to see it eventually) we take the year I passed 11th grade - 2020 and the current year - 2022 and we subtract them

2022-2020 = 3, is what we get.

Kidding, I said I'm bad at math but no, not this bad, we get 2. It had been 2 years since the articles inside were of any use to me, so assuming that I just had to take out the textbooks and keep them packed in a bag I open the cupboard and what I find inside are things I didn't even know I possessed.

If I were to set up a scale for the items I found the range would be-

adorable fridge magnets <----------------------------> 11th grade Psychology test paper of my friend (*not important* which he may have failed by the way)

fridge magnets I mentioned -Taj Mahal in a spoon ^v Mysore Palace

The articles I found were old test papers of friends who didn't want to take theirs home to their parents, school magazines where I could see my dorky pictures with the class I did not like, notebooks full of everything but notes, 2 fridge magnets I bought as souvenirs for a friend I am no longer in touch with, drawings I made in art class reminding me how fun it was to just draw even if you are no good at it.

Everything in there was mine, I owned them but didn't even bother taking them out of the dusty little space they were cramped up in. Those things I kept were a part of me, they reminded me of who I was, a very energetic teenager who lacked artistic skills and steady hands but still drew on the unevenly torn off pages of a notebook(because I never remembered to take those cool sheets we were supposed to use for all our art), a naïve little tween who like any other his age had certain dreams and aspirations which were crushed by SOCIETY(not really, I did it to myself, self-gaslighting 100000)

Me hoarding led me to this day, I stored all my possessions and hid them? Maybe I didn't want to look at them again but here I was, forced to confront my feelings but instead of the usual "Oh I'll take care of it later" I opened the cupboard and realized that what I had, what I didn't want to look at, the memories I didn't want to be reminded of weren't all bad, if those memories were landmarks on a long weary trip I decided to look at the miles in between, all the distance I covered

The stops in my journey weren't all great but if anything it is the journey I cannot forget, the distance I travelled, how I grew as a person is now visible as I stared on through the clutter all over the floor or maybe I was just lazy and all this was just an attempt to seem smart and all intellectuall-y even though I am not (:

Believe me you I know that (you think) I still am the same person I was back then and haven't grown much since but,

if I wanted to make a post on how I still am the incorrigible little degenerate I have been forever I would have. This right here is my space where I'll post anything I want and if you want that post you go create one of your own :D